Hello hai buddies. A very happy & special new year Wishes for you. Here we present Funny new year wishes & Quotes 2016 -Awesome Text & Pictures for you to share with friends lover parents. I know these will help you as you have fun loving and lots of friends and family members to tease.
Funny new year wishes & Quotes 2016 -Awesome Text & Pictures
Funny New Year Cards for LOVER
Funny New Year Quotes for Wife
Hey do you love fun? Then read this conversation between a teen boy and his grand father. I read this and laughed for two hours continuously. On this new year i present you this conversation as a new years gift for you and you can also share this with your friends as a Happy New year present and make them smile. Now its your turn. Get Gooooo…
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? A: Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together! Q: What did the Egg say to the boiling water? A: It’s going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick! Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? A: He forgot to wrap his whopper! Q: Why did the students eat their homework? A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake. Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Because they are used to eating nuts! Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe. Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing. Q: What do you call the king of vegetables? A: Elvis Parsley. Q: What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden A: Seizure salad Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog? A: It was an Oscar Wiener. Q: “What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?” A: “I want you inside me!” Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork Q: Why are men like coffee? A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night! Q: “What do tofu and a dildo have in common?” A: “They are both meat substitutes!” Q: “Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?” A: “The one that says IDAHO!” Q: What’s slimy cold long and smells like pork? A: Kermit the frogs finger! Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Another small story for you
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks. A priest was driving along and saw nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg. The priest looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg. She immediately says, “Father, remember Psalm 129”. The priest says sorry and removes his hand but is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on when he changes gear and has ogled at her leg for the zillionth time he lets the hand slide up the leg again. The Nun once again says, “Father remember Psalm 129”. Arriving at the convent the nun gets out and the priest goes on his way. Once he arrives at his church he rushes to the bible and looks up Psalm 129 and it said, “GO FORTH AND SEEK, FURTHER UP YOU WILL FIND GLORY” Moral of the Story: In your job should always be well informed or you may miss a great opportunity.